The
Homework Dilemma: How Much Should Parents Get Involved?
Before
discussing ways you can help your child with homework, it is important to discuss why
teachers assign homework and how it benefits your child. Why do teachers assign homework?
Teachers assign homework for many reasons. Homework can help children:
·
review and
practice what they've learned
·
get ready for the
next day's class
·
learn to use
resources, such as libraries, reference materials, and the Internet
·
explore subjects
more fully than time permits in the classroom
Homework
can also help children develop good habits and attitudes. Homework helps children learn to
be responsible and gives them a sense of control and accomplishment. It can teach children
to work independently; encourage self-discipline and responsibility, and to manage time
and meet deadlines. Children who spend more time on homework, on average, do better
academically than children who don't, and the academic benefits of homework increase in
the upper grades.
Just what kind of
parental involvement — and how much involvement — truly helps children with
their homework? The most useful stance parents can take, many experts agree, is to be somewhat but not overly involved in homework. The emphasis
needs to be on parents' helping children do their homework themselves — not on doing
it for them.
The
basic rule is, "Don't do the assignments yourself." It's not your homework
— it's your child's. It can be hard for parents to let children work through problems
alone and learn from their mistakes. It's also hard to know where to draw the line between
supporting and doing. Remember, don't confuse, "Helping with Homework" with
"Helping"!
How to Help: Help Your Child Get Organized
·
Set up a Homework
Schedule
Many children
benefit from a set homework schedule. For some, the responsibility of deciding when to sit
down and do homework is too difficult. These children may decide to do their homework
after school or after dinner. This is a personal choice and has to do with learning
style. However, once the time is determined, the schedule should be adhered to as
realistically as possible. This will also relieve the problem of having to "hunt
down" or corral" children to get them to do their homework. It may help to
write out the schedule and put it in a place where you'll see it often, such as the
refrigerator door.
Outside
activities, such as sports or music lessons, may mean that you need a flexible schedule.
Your child may study after school on some days and in the evening on others. If there
isn't enough time to finish homework, your child may need to drop some outside activity.
Homework must be a high priority.
The preset routine should also include a specified amount of time that must be devoted to
schoolwork. This is very helpful for the child whose motto is "fastest is best"
and also the one who "forgets" his homework because the child knows that he will
be required to spend a predetermined amount of time doing something "academic."
For instance, if your fourth-grader knows she's expected to spend an hour doing homework,
reading, or visiting the library, she may be less likely to rush through assignments so
that she can watch television. A required amount of time may also discourage her from
"forgetting" to bring home assignments and help her adjust to a routine.
·
Schedule Breaks
in the Study Routine
Break up the
homework routine with short breaks for snacks or quick exercise. Set a time limit for the
breaks.
·
Pick a Study
Place
A desk
is nice, but the kitchen table or a corner of the living room can work just fine. A study area
should have lots of light, supplies close by, and be fairly quiet. Your child may enjoy
decorating a special study corner. A plant, a brightly colored container to hold pencils,
and some favorite artwork taped to the walls can make study time more pleasant.
·
Remove
Distractions
Turn
off the television and discourage social telephone calls during homework time. (A call to
a classmate about an assignment may, however, be helpful.) Some youngsters work well with
quiet background music, but loud noise from the stereo or TV is not OK.
·
Provide Supplies
and Identify Resources
For
starters, collect pencils, pens, erasers, writing paper, an assignment book, and a
dictionary. Other things that might be helpful include glue, a stapler, paper clips, maps,
a calculator, a pencil sharpener, tape, scissors, a ruler, index cards, a thesaurus, and
an almanac. Keep these items together in one place if possible.
How to Help:
Provide Guidance
·
Talk About the
Assignments
Ask your child
questions. Talking can help him think through an assignment and break it down into small,
workable parts. Here are some sample questions:
Do you have everything
you need to do the assignment? Ask to see any
necessary books, worksheets, or teacher instructions.
Have you ever done any
assignment like the one you're supposed to do right now? See if your child
has already done similar assignments that can guide her in completing this particular one.
Also ask if your child has already spent time in class on this assignment, and if so, how
effectively she used her time in school.
Do you understand what you're supposed to do? After your child
has read the instructions, ask her to tell you in her own words what the assignment is
about.
Do you
need help in understanding how to do your work? If you understand the subject yourself, you may
want to work through some examples with your child *. But let her do the assignment
herself.
What do
you need to do to finish the assignment?
Your child may want to talk through the steps with you (or make a written list of them, if
he's able to), as described in the section above on good study habits.
(*
Note: One online resource for Homework Help for a wide range of subjects is
www.kidbibs.com/homeworkhelp.htm)
·
Rank the
Assignments
For some children,
the decision about what to do first becomes a major chore. They may dwell over this choice
for a long time. Other children use horizontal perspective. This occurs when
everything takes on the same level of importance and no priority is seen. Use the due
dates for assignments, as well as commitments to extra-curricular activities, guide you
and your child in setting priorities.
If you choose to
rank order, suggest which assignment to do first and so on. Many children tend to use a quantity
orientation (number of assignments left) rather than a qualitative orientation (difficulty
of assignment). This means that if they have five things to do, have them finish the four
easy ones first. In their eyes, they have only one assignment left even though it may be a
more difficult task.
·
Look Over
Completed Assignments
Check
to see that assignments are started and finished on time. Ask to see the assignment
calendar if you are uncertain of the assignments. If you aren't home when the homework is
finished, look it over when you get home.
·
Note on Using
Computers
Most
families have personal computers in their home. Computers can be a great learning tool and
helpful for some assignments. However, you do no not have to have a computer for your
child to compete homework assignments successfully. Many children prefer using a computer
to hand writing their work. As a parent, you can guide your child in making decisions
about whether it is appropriate to use the computer, pointing out considerations such as
computer availability (do other family members need the computer this evening?), time
frame (when is this due?), and status of other pending assignments. For assignments using
word processing, children may also need reminding to always do the typing of the text
first, and then if time remains, then they can change the format, fonts, colors, graphics,
and so on.
·
Give Praise
People of all
ages respond to praise. And children need encouragement from the people whose opinions
they value most—their parents. "Good first draft of your book report!" or
"You've done a great job" can go a long way toward motivating your child to
complete assignments.
Children also need to know when they haven't done their best work. Make criticism
constructive. Instead of telling a third-grader, "You aren't going to hand in that
mess, are you?" try, "The teacher will understand your ideas better if you use
your best handwriting." Then give praise when a neat version is completed.
How To Help:
Monitor Homework Sessions
·
Be Available
Elementary school
students often like to have someone in the same room when working on assignments in case
they have questions. If your child will be cared for by someone else, talk to that person
about what you expect regarding homework. For an older child, if no one will be around,
let him know you want him to begin work before you get home and call to remind him if
necessary.
·
Allow Your Child
Some Personal Space During the Homework Session
This
is a big problem for some parents. Parents employing this technique are not only setting
themselves up
for tremendous
frustration and anger, but they are also creating "learned helplessness."
Many parents will
say that their children cannot work unless they are sitting next to them. It is not that
many children are unable to work, but that they choose not to work. The work stoppage on
the part of children occurs when a parent attempts to break away and no longer provides
them with undivided attention. This "dependency" is very unhealthy because it is
not imitated in the classroom. Consequently, such children may put off doing their
classwork and bring the unfinished work home. In this way they may gain mom or dad's full
attention.
If you are already
locked into this type of situation, you should not break away all at once. You should desensitize
children a little at a time. Sit at the end of the table for a few days. Then slowly
increase the distance between yourself and the child's work until he or she is working
alone. Remember, you can still "be available", yet provide your child some
personal space to develop independence.
·
Never Let Homework
Drag On All Night
Sometimes parents
will allow a child to work on homework for several hours or until they finish. This is
fine if the performance of the child is consistent or the assignment realistically calls
for such a commitment of time. However, in the event that a child is no farther along
after one or two hours than after fifteen minutes into the assignment, you should stop the
homework activity. The only thing accomplished by allowing a child to linger on hour after
hour with very little performance is increased feelings of inadequacy. There may be
several reasons for such a behavior pattern. First, the child may not have understood the
concept in class and therefore will not be able to finish the assignment at home. Second,
the child may already have feelings of helplessness, particularly if the child already had
school time to work on the assignment and was not successful making progress in that
setting. This lack of progress may be the result of the child not listening to the
instructions or to being off-task in school. The child may reason that waiting long
periods of time could result in the completion of the assignment by the parents. Try to
determine the reason why your child is having difficulties then write a note to the
teacher explaining the circumstances.
·
Avoid Doing or
Finishing Assignments For Your Child
Some parents will
complete an entire assignment for their children. While the parents' motivation may be
helping their child finish a difficult assignment, the end result may be very destructive.
Children tend to feel inadequate when a parent finishes homework. First, they feel a sense
of failure. Second, they feel a sense of inadequacy since they can never hope to do the
assignment as well as mom or dad. This can only foster increased dependency and feelings
of helplessness on the part of children. As children advance through school, our goal is
to nurture independent thinkers who take ownership and responsibility for their own
learning.
·
And Finally - Accept
the Challenge